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	Testimony Of F. John Sexauer I was born in 1951. I came to the Lord in February of 1988. I was addicted to alcohol and marijuana, (don't tell me pot isn't addictive, I've been there). I was an idolater, a lascivious drunkard, a fornicator, a practitioner of witchcraft and sexual perversion, a liar and a thief. My family and friends were afraid of me. I had been in and out of mental hospitals for eight years. I was diagnosed as "manic depressive", and assured by doctors and therapists that my condition was beyond my control and none of my fault. It never occurred to me to relate the sorry state of my life to my actions and life style. "For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption: but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting." (Galations 6:8) I had been raised a member of an organized religion, and confessed a belief in God. In my younger days I considered my self to be a truth seeker and had developed my own view of a relationship with God that I felt would lead to salvation. This view was based on following the ten commandments and loving my neighbor. Of course, I failed miserably at both these tasks. In addition, I had no clear understanding of God's plan for man. "There is a way that seemeth right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." (Proverbs 16:25) In the late sixties and early seventies, with my "man is good, society is evil" philosophy, I prided myself in open-mindedness but had never read the Bible; the few times I had attempted to I found it incomprehensible. I met Richard Eutsler in February of 1988, through a man who had been one of the aides at a mental hospital I had been confined to. He invited me to attend a bible study at Reverend Eutsler's home in Northfield Falls here in Vermont. Rev. Eutsler spoke of a Jesus I'd never known about; The living word of God who had an animate and personal relationship with believers. Now this was exciting; It smacked of the "ultimate truth" I had claimed to be searching for through high school and into my early twenties. The promise of the possibility of a close personal relationship with God (!!!) that was real, as opposed to a rarified silent spirituality that "religion" characterized as communion with God, was something worth working towards. Peace with God the Father, fellowship with our risen Savior Jesus Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit working in MY life; this was something I could desire and care about. This was important! This Jesus CLEARLY declared his divinity in the scriptures: "The woman saith unto him, I know messias cometh, which is called Christ: when he is come, he will tell us all things. Jesus saith unto her, I that speak unto thee am he." (John 4:25-26) This declaration proved to me that Jesus was not just a "good man" or a mighty prophet that might be dismissed as important but not crucial to salvation. Other scriptures show just how important Jesus is, and why we should follow him: "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 14:6) "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 6:23) After our first or second meeting Rev. Eutsler sat me down and preached Jesus to me. I felt a dried out emptiness in my self that I had never before noticed being saturated like a dry sponge expanding in a bucket of water. "Thou crownest the year with thy goodness; and thy paths drop fatness." (Psalms 65:11) Reverend Eutsler asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus as my personal Savior. I said yes and did so. I looked up at the clock and four hours had passed, in what I had thought was about twenty minutes. " And hast not shut me up into the hand of the enemy: thou hast set my feet in a large room." (Psalms 31:8) Now what? I had believed in Jesus before this, I had even accepted Him as my personal savior back in 1982 or '83, before diving headlong back into sin. What was different now? I decided to consider the testimony and advice of Rev. Eutsler and others I'd met at this bible study. I made a decision to try and get my life right with the Lord. If reading and following instruction in the scripture, attending church and bible study regularly, and maintaining fellowship with other believers could turn my life around, I'd find out soon, and if nothing happened, I could give it up, and lose nothing but time spent. To the best of my recollection, after the first few bible studies I attended in Northfield Falls, after I had accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior with some commitment and determination this time, I made a promise to myself that I would put aside doubts, take the bible literally, and do what it said to do for a year. If after that time nothing changed in my life at least I'd know I'd given it a shot. The difference this time was Jesus and His plan for me. And so began the greatest adventure of my life. Everything changed. My life gained meaning and purpose. After asking the Lord to open them to me, I began to understand the Scriptures, and the Elizabethan English of the King James Bible no longer seemed incomprehensible to me. I entered into discipleship and pursuit of a serious walk with Jesus. Privately and at meetings I was told that one of my biggest problems was running from responsibility. And several times over the years1988 till 1994 (and for the stupidest reasons) I got angry and left (ran away) for different lengths of time. Each time the Lord brought me down to a place where it was obvious even to me that I needed Him more than he needed me and that discipleship was where I ought to be. When I accepted this I began to see that the "manic depression " I was diagnosed with was not the effect of sickness, (how can intangible mental processes such as thought be sick? The mind either works or it doesn't ) but of demonic activity that I was in agreement with. This was not an easy place to come to , and without the emphatic and uncompromising stance in the matter of my brethren in the Lord, I don't believe I ever would have come to this conclusion. They loved me enough to tell me the truth, and lead me to a hopeful point of view I've never heard from a long list of psychiatrists, therapists and mental health "professionals". At first I thought I was "misunderstood " by my brothers and sisters in Christ and that that was why I was told that the "illness" I had been diagnosed with was not totally beyond my control. After fits and starts, and years of unbelief and rejection on my part, I decided to listen to what I had been told and to apply principles of faith against the evidence of my senses, to see what would happen. "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." (James 4:7) The bottom line on that for me was to keep my eyes on Jesus and not listen to voices no matter what my senses told me. After some time, I found that previously devastating bouts of anxiety and fear attacks, distorted perception, and groundless paranoia would disperse if I kept my eyes on Jesus, stayed in prayer and remembered that it was Jesus who was the Lord of how I felt and not a chemical imbalance caused by the influence of demonic spirits. " And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint." ( Luke 18:1) I began to tough out anxiety and depression, where before I would have sought out someone (Psychiatrist, counselor, therapist, friend, etc.) to somehow "make me feel better" . It worked. Duh!! Once I began to take responsibility for my own mind, feelings and emotions not prompted by reality became less frequent. They didn't entirely end , but I found that demonic attacks against my sanity, became less general, more intensely personal, and obviously originating from outside my mind . "When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation." (Matthew 12: 43-45) Once the problem was identified as external, doubt was eliminated and the influences were easier to resist , and a storm is easier to weather when you know by the promise of God's Word that you will be victorious through Jesus Christ and faith in the power of His Name. And things keep getting better! " I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13) I have fellowship with a group of brothers and sisters who love me and who are not afraid to tell me the truth, and I have a divine guarantee of ultimate success, salvation and everlasting life; if I meet God's conditions as set forth in the King James 1611 version of the Holy Bible! " For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."(John 3:16) Being a Christian is the most exciting journey I've ever embarked upon. And anyone can take this journey with equal guarantee of success. "Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him." (Acts 10 :34,35) "For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God and it was counted unto him for righteousness." (Romans 4:3) A personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the most valuable relationship I've ever had. The Word of God is the surest compass there is. The only thing left to decide is what do we do about it.
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Testimony Of F. John Sexauer

I was born in 1951. I came to the Lord in February of 1988. I was addicted to alcohol and marijuana, (don't tell me pot isn't addictive, I've been there). I was an idolater, a lascivious drunkard, a fornicator, a practitioner of witchcraft and sexual perversion, a liar and a thief. My family and friends were afraid of me. I had been in and out of mental hospitals for eight years. I was diagnosed as "manic depressive", and assured by doctors and therapists that my condition was beyond my control and none of my fault. It never occurred to me to relate the sorry state of my life to my actions and life style. "For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption: but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting." (Galations 6:8) I had been raised a member of an organized religion, and confessed a belief in God. In my younger days I considered my self to be a truth seeker and had developed my own view of a relationship with God that I felt would lead to salvation. This view was based on following the ten commandments and loving my neighbor. Of course, I failed miserably at both these tasks. In addition, I had no clear understanding of God's plan for man.

"There is a way that seemeth right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." (Proverbs 16:25)

In the late sixties and early seventies, with my "man is good, society is evil" philosophy, I prided myself in open-mindedness but had never read the Bible; the few times I had attempted to I found it incomprehensible.

I met Richard Eutsler in February of 1988, through a man who had been one of the aides at a mental hospital I had been confined to. He invited me to attend a bible study at Reverend Eutsler's home in Northfield Falls here in Vermont. Rev. Eutsler spoke of a Jesus I'd never known about; The living word of God who had an animate and personal relationship with believers. Now this was exciting; It smacked of the "ultimate truth" I had claimed to be searching for through high school and into my early twenties. The promise of the possibility of a close personal relationship with God (!!!) that was real, as opposed to a rarified silent spirituality that "religion" characterized as communion with God, was something worth working towards. Peace with God the Father, fellowship with our risen Savior Jesus Christ, and the power of the Holy Spirit working in MY life; this was something I could desire and care about. This was important!

This Jesus CLEARLY declared his divinity in the scriptures:

"The woman saith unto him, I know messias cometh, which is called Christ: when he is come, he will tell us all things.

Jesus saith unto her, I that speak unto thee am he." (John 4:25-26)

This declaration proved to me that Jesus was not just a "good man" or a mighty prophet that might be dismissed as important but not crucial to salvation. Other scriptures show just how important Jesus is, and why we should follow him: "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 14:6)

"For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 6:23)

After our first or second meeting Rev. Eutsler sat me down and preached Jesus to me. I felt a dried out emptiness in my self that I had never before noticed being saturated like a dry sponge expanding in a bucket of water.

"Thou crownest the year with thy goodness; and thy paths drop fatness." (Psalms 65:11)

Reverend Eutsler asked me if I wanted to accept Jesus as my personal Savior. I said yes and did so. I looked up at the clock and four hours had passed, in what I had thought was about twenty minutes.

" And hast not shut me up into the hand of the enemy: thou hast set my feet in a large room." (Psalms 31:8)

Now what? I had believed in Jesus before this, I had even accepted Him as my personal savior back in 1982 or '83, before diving headlong back into sin. What was different now? I decided to consider the testimony and advice of Rev. Eutsler and others I'd met at this bible study. I made a decision to try and get my life right with the Lord. If reading and following instruction in the scripture, attending church and bible study regularly, and maintaining fellowship with other believers could turn my life around, I'd find out soon, and if nothing happened, I could give it up, and lose nothing but time spent. To the best of my recollection, after the first few bible studies I attended in Northfield Falls, after I had accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior with some commitment and determination this time, I made a promise to myself that I would put aside doubts, take the bible literally, and do what it said to do for a year. If after that time nothing changed in my life at least I'd know I'd given it a shot. The difference this time was Jesus and His plan for me. And so began the greatest adventure of my life. Everything changed. My life gained meaning and purpose. After asking the Lord to open them to me, I began to understand the Scriptures, and the Elizabethan English of the King James Bible no longer seemed incomprehensible to me. I entered into discipleship and pursuit of a serious walk with Jesus.

Privately and at meetings I was told that one of my biggest problems was running from responsibility. And several times over the years1988 till 1994 (and for the stupidest reasons) I got angry and left (ran away) for different lengths of time. Each time the Lord brought me down to a place where it was obvious even to me that I needed Him more than he needed me and that discipleship was where I ought to be. When I accepted this I began to see that the "manic depression " I was diagnosed with was not the effect of sickness, (how can intangible mental processes such as thought be sick? The mind either works or it doesn't ) but of demonic activity that I was in agreement with. This was not an easy place to come to , and without the emphatic and uncompromising stance in the matter of my brethren in the Lord, I don't believe I ever would have come to this conclusion. They loved me enough to tell me the truth, and lead me to a hopeful point of view I've never heard from a long list of psychiatrists, therapists and mental health "professionals".

At first I thought I was "misunderstood " by my brothers and sisters in Christ and that that was why I was told that the "illness" I had been diagnosed with was not totally beyond my control. After fits and starts, and years of unbelief and rejection on my part, I decided to listen to what I had been told and to apply principles of faith against the evidence of my senses, to see what would happen.

"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." (James 4:7)

The bottom line on that for me was to keep my eyes on Jesus and not listen to voices no matter what my senses told me. After some time, I found that previously devastating bouts of anxiety and fear attacks, distorted perception, and groundless paranoia would disperse if I kept my eyes on Jesus, stayed in prayer and remembered that it was Jesus who was the Lord of how I felt and not a chemical imbalance caused by the influence of demonic spirits.

" And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint." ( Luke 18:1)

I began to tough out anxiety and depression, where before I would have sought out someone (Psychiatrist, counselor, therapist, friend, etc.) to somehow "make me feel better" . It worked. Duh!! Once I began to take responsibility for my own mind, feelings and emotions not prompted by reality became less frequent. They didn't entirely end , but I found that demonic attacks against my sanity, became less general, more intensely personal, and obviously originating from outside my mind .

"When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none.

Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation." (Matthew 12: 43-45) Once the problem was identified as external, doubt was eliminated and the influences were easier to resist , and a storm is easier to weather when you know by the promise of God's Word that you will be victorious through Jesus Christ and faith in the power of His Name. And things keep getting better!

" I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13) I have fellowship with a group of brothers and sisters who love me and who are not afraid to tell me the truth, and I have a divine guarantee of ultimate success, salvation and everlasting life; if I meet God's conditions as set forth in the King James 1611 version of the Holy Bible!

" For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."(John 3:16)

Being a Christian is the most exciting journey I've ever embarked upon. And anyone can take this journey with equal guarantee of success.

"Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons:

But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him." (Acts 10 :34,35)

"For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God and it was counted unto him for righteousness." (Romans 4:3)

A personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the most valuable relationship I've ever had.

The Word of God is the surest compass there is.

The only thing left to decide is what do we do about it.